RAZORS

Pros:

• relatively cheap
• can give you a closer shave
• a more complete shaving experience (lathering up and whatnot), if that’s what you’re into
• small, light, don’t have to charge
• doesn’t sound like a vibrator (buzzer)

Cons:

• you find the complete shaving experience is annoying
• razor cuts! burns!
• considered a weapon. read: you cannot bring it on the airplane.
• a beezy to clean (ever got webbed finger tips? heh)
• ownage of razor blade may increase likelihood of suicide

ELECTRIC SHAVER

Pros:

• less irritation, cuts, and gore
• sounds like a vibrator
• easy to clean
• may serve as trimmer for sideburns, pubes, and whatever else you got growing there
• not considered a weapon: read: you can bring it on the plane
• for some people like myself, its satisfying to hear the sound of your hair getting processed
• no blades to replace!

Cons:

• may not offer as close of a shave, unless you got a freakin’ expensive shaver
• expensive-r than razors
• like love, buzzers require electricity
• heavier and less mobile than the razor. shouldn’t matter unless you weigh 10 pounds.
• loss of “complete and original shaving experience”
• heat created can cause irritation

Alas, my research was not conclusive about bumps on the skin. But a fantastic web page at http://www.shavercentre.com/shavingtips.html shares some great shaving tips. For example…

• try to shave in the direction in which your hair is growing. I personally find this insanely hard to do, so I just shave against the hairs without pressing the shaver into my skin too much
• those pre-shave gels do work to help your hair stick up to produce closer and more comfortable shaves
• wash the desired shaving area with warm water to soften the hairs for shaving. This is why it is a good idea to shave (and moisturize) after showers.

That’s all for now, folks. Shave safe, shave strong.

your wingman,

gale

Recently, I read the very popular and esteemed book The Millionaire Next Door. Many of you have probably heard of it, but for those who haven’t, I’m going to share with you the most compelling ideas I’ve absorbed from the book.

Big Idea #1: Be Frugal

Authors of the book contend that to be truly wealthy, one has to play great financial defense and offense. Financial defense is being frugal and spending wisely, whereas financial offense translates to the strength of your income. It’s important to distinguish between being frugal and being “cheap”. Frugal people still like to buy reliable products, just not luxury items. For example, the Joneses and the Johnsons have the same income and both have three children. The Joneses live in a modest three-bedroom home in a middle-class neighborhood consisting of teachers, upper blue collar workers, and some professionals. They own a Honda Accord and a Toyota Camry. The Johnsons, on the other hand, live in a luxurious, five bedroom home in a neighborhood consisting of doctors, lawyers, professionals and such. They are leasing an Audi, a Mercedes, and a BMW roadster. The Johnsons frequently buy designer clothing and high-end gadgets, whereas the Joneses buy decently priced clothing and always look for the best deals for their purchases.

Given the same income, the Joneses play better financial defense and have better financial longevity. This means that they will be able to have more savings compared to the Johnsons that can be invested or used to grow their wealth. The Joneses can enjoy an earlier and better retirement, whereas the Johnsons may have to work for the rest of their lives to maintain their luxurious lifestyle. What’s more is that the Joneses can enjoy more financially responsible children.

Big Idea #2: Wealth > The Appearance of Wealth

Because of the Joneses’ spending habits, their three children are more likely to be frugal, and in turn become less of a financial burden to their parents (thus making Mr. and Mrs. Jones richer). The Joneses children understand that being wealthy doesn’t mean driving luxury cars and wearing designer clothing. They understand the importance of saving and investing. The Johnsons, on the other hand, have children who have grown up accustomed to a luxurious lifestyle. They feel that it is their social obligation to own high-status items. These children may certainly grow up to earn high incomes, but their rich lifestyles prevent them from true wealth.

What’s ironic is that the items people buy to look rich may prevent them getting rich. One might purchase a $35,000 BMW and think that he’s rich. But in fact, he’s $35,000 poorer than he was before, and that’s not counting the expenses of car maintenance, insurance, and gas.

In the past, if automically think “wow, they’re so rich” when I see people who drive nice cars and wear designer clothing. Now I say “wow, they look so rich”. It’s a difference that I have to deal with as well. I’ve always wanted to drive a BMW and live large. Does that mean I should never in my life own a big house or lease luxury cars? Not necessarily, because…

Big Idea #3: Use Only Assets to Buy Luxuries

This is now becoming a classic idea that stems from Robert Kiyosaki’s Rich Dad Poor Dad. The idea contends that if you MUST drive that bimmer, then play it smart and don’t buy that BMW with your single income. Try to buy luxuries only with income produced by assets that you have, such as through real estate, stocks, and other types of passive income.

I want to close with some interesting facts from The Millionaire Next Door:

• the majority of millionaires live simple lives and may live right next door to you - they are rich because they live below their means
• most millionaires in America are self-made and own businesses
• most children of American millionaires fund their own college tuition and/or graduate school tuition (this makes sense since the necessity to pay back debts breeds the desire and innovation to make money)

So there you have it. The first post from Gale Kim in a long-ass time. Enjoy the hot asian girl.

your wingman,

gale

Dude mang. There’s a serious problem I need to discuss with you guys. It’s called multi-tasking.

I always thought multi-tasking was cool. Actually, everyone does. The ability to do many things (well) simultaneously indeed seems very impressive. For example, chatting on AIM and talking on the phone at the same time. Pretty standard. But then you throw in breastfeeding and painting a still life of durians, and you’ve got a smelly drowning baby. That’s not good. I don’t have to exaggerate; the simplest of multitasking can be hugely detrimental to all endeavors academic and social.

Let’s return to the talking-on-phone-while-chatting-on-AIM example. It’s something I’m guilty of myself. What happens in such an instance of multitasking is diverted attention on two fronts. The friend you’re speaking to will notice your responses devolving to the standard fare of “uh-huhs”, “you don’t say!”, “shiver me timbers!” and thus you heavily risk betraying the fact that you’re not really listening. And your AIM buddies will notice either delayed responses and/or inane conversation. Either put on your away message on or tell your friend you’ll call back later. Or die. You will find this especially helpful if you’re in a serious conversation or would like to contribute more as a conversationalist (and friend).

I love tabbed browsing. This new advancement in online browsing has initially led to feel more productive, having multiple windows open at the same time. It’s also (btw I can’t say also. I say “oso”) a subtle form of multitasking that produces obvious effects. I remember working on my paper on eating culture and opened up 15+ tabs of academic research from JSTOR. What resulted was that I took a brief glance at each source and continued tabbing more sources for my paper. Then I realized, late in my research: “How can I derive great insights on food culture when I don’t take to time to fully assess each article?” This realization led to one-tab browsing and it helped me get on the right direction to procure a decent research paper. Not bad Gale, not bad. At the basis of my argument against multitasking is the argument for quality over quantity. Less tasks = better, if not more meaningful conversation. Less tabs = deeper research. The list can go on and on (and on and on ~energizer bunny~ )

Motivations for multitasking. Sometimes people don’t realize that they don’t even want to multitask. But they begin to multitask when it comes with communication with people. And why is this? it’s because we all want to convey our social value - for example you want Jenny to think you’re really important for talking to her and on AIM at the same time. In a nutshell, how eye see it is that multitasking can often be interpreted as a subconscious outlet of our own ego, if not arrogance.

inevitable feelings after multitasking - incompleteness and emptiness. And sheer frustration that reading two pages out of Homer’s Iliad took you 3 more hours than it normally would without the distractions of music, dinosaur eggs, and pictures of nude people. Moreover, multitasking will greatly exacerbate ADD if you have it already, or perhaps develop ADD if you don’t have it. Whichever way you look at it, it’s lose-lose. So don’t lose. You know, multitasking is why polygamy doesn’t work. And why it’s illegal. The federal law states that you cannot multitask by having several wives at the same time. So by extension, multitasking should be illegal too.

The grand, now-obvious solution to productivity woes is simply single tasking. It’s the new hip thing to do. Even a jack of all trades studies each trade individually, not all at once. Instead of having breadth and little depth in your tasks, aim for depth in the things you really want accomplished. after all, treasure is never found on the surface, but deep in the ocean. so I leave that crappy analogy in your hands and hope you take that to heart, instead of reading this advice as your 20th tab in firefox while clipping your cheese-beladen toenails.EGGCEPTION: The only instance of multitasking that i allow, and even find honorable, is talking to someone while you take a dump. Then it’s not multitasking, it’s sharing. The gloriousness of explaining your friend how long and excruciating your bowl system is working will not only improve bonding time, but also makes for notable topics of conversation in the future.

So it doesn’t matter if you really really vacuum-suck at multitasking. just be good at single-tasking and you’re set for life. We’ll there’s a few other things to be successful, but keeping this in mind will undoubtedly jump your productivity to great heights.

Toodle do!

Your Wingman,

Gale Kim

p.s. as for the relevance of the picture at top to the topic discussed, well. that girl multitasks.

p.p.s. multitasking is single tasking times multiple

p.p.s. this is my best work.

ATTENTION ALL YOU GLOBAL CITIZENS OUT THERE!

I’m always a little skeptical when it comes to making a few extra dollars online. I am relieved, however, that some PTC and PTR - Paid to Click and Paid to Read - Programs have been coming up and been legitimately paying their members. In less than 30 days, I’ve made $183.45 through a certain paid-to-click program. How these programs work is that you click on ONE ad and view it for 30 seconds, then get credited 1 cent for that ad. This system works because companies pay money to put their web pages on for you to view to drive sales to their own sites. PTC programs will share that bit of the profit with YOU by paying you a measley 1 cent per ad, with around 10 ads at most a day. So with such a slow way to earn, why bother?

PTC and PTR can put some serious pocket change in…well, your pockets. It can become a nice little stream of income that can help you take care of some inevitably recurring bills, such as gas. On the bright side, it’s a great way to save up for dates or splurge a little on gifts. So how can you possibly get a sizeable amount of money for clicking on these 1 cent ads? I’ll show you how.

Find a Reputable PTC program where you can BUY referrals

I’ll start off with the only Paid-to-Click program that has made me $183.45 in less than 30 days. The website is Bux.to and it rocks because it has many options for you to vastly increase your earning potential; with each referral that signs up directly under you, you get 100% of that referral’s earnings. That is a really reasonable compensation for introducing someone else to the program, considering most other PTC’s will give you maybe up to 50% at most. That means every 1 cent your referral makes, you make 1 cent.

Then the exciting part comes when you decide to invest in buying referrals: you may purchase “referral packs” of 15, 35, 100, or 500. After purchasing the referrals, Bux.to may take anywhere from 2 - 5 days adding them to your account. After that occurs, however, you’ll have the power of up to 500 (or more, depending how much you want to invest) referrals clicking for you. Assuming that each referral is a regular member and clicks 10 ads daily, you can realistically make up to $50 a day. Theoretically, after 10 days you earn back your expenses of $500 and everything is pure profit from there on out. In my own experience, this was true for the first few days. However, fickle clickers have led me to recoup my costs a little bit late - 17 days to recover my initial expenses. I don’t care, because this sure beats the stock market.

Another bonus to the program is that you have the option of upgrading to PREMIUM status. The dozen ads or so a regular member gets daily will rocket to at least 20 daily, but in my experience I have consistently gotten more than 35 ads a day. On top of that, every ad that YOU click and that your REFERRALS click makes 25% more, so each click comes out to 1.25 cents. This may not sound like much but if you refer back to that $500 dollar example earlier, you would’ve made $125 more in the same amount of time. What I did was to buy the special package 100 members + premium membership for $139 dollars; you save 21 because premium membership by itself is $60.

Now, here are some realistic CONS to the program that you will most likely have to deal with, but they will not really prevent you from making a profit in the long run (try it out for at least 30 days - it’s standard membership is free anyway).

1) Long Payout Time

Bux.to used to be a faster payer, but since they’ve been growing at such a fast pace, they changed their payout times to 30 business days for premium members and 60 business days for regular members. I’ll be honest with you and say that if you are really impatient, then maybe Bux.to isn’t for you. But one has to understand the logistics of paid to click programs - with they way PTC companies operate and make money, they cannot afford to offer immediate cashouts.

2) No Paypal, Use Alertpay (not really a big deal)

Nearly all PTC companies have switched from Paypal to Alertpay to compensate their earners, but I don’t see this as a problem - actually, Alertpay has WAY cheaper rates cause sending and receiving money is totally free under the standard account, and it’s free to send the money you earn right to your checking account. Don’t be like me and sign up for the Pro account - I only did because I thought I’d be making/withdrawing more money by now, but sadly that’s not the case :( So I pay a nominal fee for cashing out my Bux.to income. Alertpay is a legitimate way to pay - it’s endorsed by CNN and it’s really easy to set up.

So that ends Part 1 of my MMO (making money online) series. In a nutshell, PTC programs like Bux.to are a legitimate way to earn extra income online. For Bux.to, the amount of money you want to make is up to your own discretion because you can buy as many referrals as you want (500 at most at a time). And it takes no work at all - you can just click on an ad, wait 30 seconds while you look at another web page you want - you’re not demanded to even look at the ads you click on as long as you wait 30 seconds. So what I do is just blog and check out CNN news and click the ads every once in a while. Getting paid for surfing the net can’t get easier than this. Well, good luck to all your endeavors and I hope you check out Bux.to

your slightly richer wingman,

gale

Please subscribe to keep up with my latest posts, use the contact form for any specific questions, or donate to help me cover the costs of operating my self-hosted blog. Thank you!

I’m excited to present to you, for the first time, a guest article from my dear friend. I’ve always considered him wise, sensitive, and above all an excellent writer, and hope that you take much from what he has to say

__________________________________________

If you’ve ever watched a sitcom, you’ll always come upon many episodes where everything screws up because there’s a breakdown in communication. Approaching the communication in a relationship is no different: you can whisper a million sweet nothings into her ear, but nothing will speak to her more than showing her that you respect her. And I’ve learned that there’s nothing sexier than a guy who listens.

1) Eye contact

The biggest issue with eye contact is the lack of it. A friend of mine talks to me about how a lot of guys let their eyes wander down her body while they’re talking to her, failing to be subtle about their scrutiny. The point isn’t to be as subtle as possible; it’s to focus on HER. Keeping eye contact with her during a conversation is the first step to showing that you are paying attention to what she is saying. It shows you are focused just on her words, not on how low her shirt is.

However, don’t let your eyes bore into her; most people don’t like prolonged, fixed stares. (Blinking helps.) So how do you keep your eyes on her without letting yourself wander? Simple. What I like to do is occasionally shift my focus to a point on her face near her eyes; that way, you keep the connection without creating an awkward situation. You can also shift very briefly to a point just outside her ears, but don’t let your gaze stay there long. You only need a brief second or two to relieve possible direct eye contact tension.

2) Pay attention

The next thing, besides the all-important eye contact, is how you respond to what she says. When she talks, you have to LISTEN. Her words need to do more than enter your head too; you have to absorb and process. Treat her words like they’re valuable (which they often are), and you will set a more solid foundation for a trusting, understanding relationship. I’m sure you’ve heard many times that “two people just didn’t connect”, or “there was a lack of communication” as the reason for a breakup. Communication is a two-way street; guys who complain about their rambling girlfriends have to accept some fault. A relationship is built on compromises, which can’t happen without both individuals participating.

If your girl is telling you something that seems important to her, take a step back and think. Nod along as you take in her words, and to convey that you are taking her seriously, repeat back the main points she’s trying to get across to you. Then, it’s no longer just a rant; it becomes conversation. And that’s what you’re in a relationship for, the ability to have someone who will listen to you when you need him/her, and also care about what’s being said. And in the process, current and potential problems become resolved. Then your bond becomes more meaningful, and you’ll feel awesome when she tells her friends that she’s got a guy who listens to her (see, it’s GOOD to be sensitive). She’ll appreciate you all the more, and both of you win in the end.

One final thing to note: sometimes, she just wants someone to rant to. She won’t be in the best mood, and she’s just got a lot to get off her shoulders. Guys, sometimes it’s better just to let her resolve her issues on her own. You don’t have to be her knight in shining armor every time something rains on her day (you’ll get rusty really quick). You’ll know when you hit a situation where she doesn’t want your opinion, and even if she seems to a bit stubborn about it, just let it go. Everyone deserves to be stubborn sometimes, so don’t offer your perceptions unless you feel it’s appropriate. As for you ladies, know that if a guy sometimes suggests something that you don’t particularly like, he’s not trying to piss you off. His words are generally well-intentioned (if sometimes a bit badly timed), and you know that sometimes the best solution is not the one you want to hear. Just listen to him (two-way street, right?), but don’t bite him. After all, you don’t need more people to be angry at.

And that’s my two cents for now, I’ll write again if anything else comes to mind or if you have any requests.

Guest Writer:

-Zack

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“She broke up with me.”

That’s never easy for a guy to say. It has something to do with pride and the inevitable question: “Is there something wrong with me?” I’ve asked myself the same question once and I’ll answer it for you too: “Is there something wrong with me?” is the wrong question. It doesn’t focus on the big picture. When things go wrong, the main perpetrator is lack of balance.

I shall confess to you my previous love affair, a most grandiose story that end with much blood and tears, and even some missing body parts. Before I do that, however, I’d like to quote my spunky friend abby:

“a perfectly equal relationship is not a relationship, but a math problem”

The above is good to keep in mind because good relationships don’t necessarily thrive on perfect equality, but rather on a healthy balance between two (I hope) people.

At the most basic level, problems result from lack of balance. You’ve all heard of the phrase “mo money mo problems”. Our ozone is depleting from too many pollutants in the sky. Anorexic people (read: Nicole Richie) look unhealthy because they don’t eat enough. It’s always too much or too little or something. Sounds obvious and simple, but I didn’t realize that until my last relationship ended with a two-hour phone call.

The problem with my last relationship? LACK OF TIME. And perhaps incompatible personalities. But mostly the former. I won’t get too much into it. It was a humbling experience when my ex broke up with me, especially when I was least expecting it. No, I didn’t slash any tires or jump off the roofs of midgets’ houses. But in case you were wondering about the blood and guts I’ve referenced earlier, I’ve deceptively lead you here:

how to deal with breakups

Ok, I lied. My breakup was as normal and casual as could be. No blood and tears. But I certainly felt like there were. That’s the thing - I was acting like the breakup was some tragedy. At least for the first two days. I didn’t hurt because the relationship was a brief two months, but I thought that it should hurt since that’s the normal way to feel about a breakup. After that realization, I was a happy chap again. Oh, one thing; I wasn’t lying about that bit about the missing body parts. I got my head shaved the day after my breakup. I guess that helped a little.

Actually, it was one of the dumbest things I ever did. So learn from my mistakes and consider the following…

1) Make It Fun(ny)

My buddies helped me with this one. I made fun of my breakup, by making it melodramatic, grandiose, and ridiculous. In doing so it helped me see that even on a realistic scale, my sad mood was a bit ridiculous. I was (and still am!) young. With many passions, such as punch-boxing and drinking chilled water. I was going to travel to my favorite country, Africa. Why would I be sad? A little bit of humor goes a long way.

2) What is Love? (Baby don’t hurt me…)

The affirmation that I wasn’t in love and never said “I love you” (always take this phrase with utmost seriosity) helped me move on quickly. Especially when it comes to physical relationships, knowing that there wasn’t much genuine love involved, or that it was a fling, greatly helps you move on. So before you drown yourself in wonton soup (who knows what people drink these days), ask yourself if it was really love or the illusion of it.

3) Drown yourself in wonton soup
In slight contrast to above advice (I’m a pretty fair guy), I suggest setting a time to feel sad. No, really. Jokes aside, I know I suggested not to be too sad. But I also realize that sometimes you just can’t force it. I mean, if you’ve been holding and kissing and hugging your significant other every day for the last 366 days of the year, you’re not gonna be a happy chap 1 day after the breakup. In fact, forcing yourself to be happy or into a sudden social scene may NOT always help out. When you’re sad, there’ s no helping it. So set a sad day for yourself. Tell yourself “okay, I’m gonna take a walk while listening to Bjork and coldplay and all the other music I told my friends was gay but listen to myself. Just today, cause goddamn, I have a paper to write. ” Speaking of papers…

4) Set some deadlines and dates.

Simply writing down and planning things to do will greatly improve your mood. Just a little reflection will help you realize that there IS a lot of stuff to look forward to. Like watching The Office episodes for free online and getting back into the that’s-what-she-said mode (I owe you my life, Michael Scott.) After your emo day, set happy days. Hang out with your friends. They need some serious attention after you freakin’ hoes-before-bro’ed them. But seriously, I was so glad that I didn’t abandon my friends during my previous relationship. Saved me a lot of social capital.

5) Have a nice cup of shut the **** up

When people ask, it’s in YOUR best interest to keep information about your breakup to a minimum: “Oh, it just didn’t work out” or “It’s in the past, so don’t worry about it” will be clear enough. I mean, is there really any need to draw out all those old and foreign emotions out on the table? Moreover, RESIST the urge to talk smack and gossip and rumor; doing so will only convey to people 1) you’re not over her and 2) you’re a bitter, bitter, black-licorice man.

And most importantly…Save the Best for Last

6) Don’t Shave Your Head.

Self explanatory.

I will probably post again just once before finals and totally rip up this website and redesign during spring break.

your wingman,

gale

p.s. If you realized some words were made up or some facts were not really facts, good for you. My faith in the public schooling system has returned.

Please subscribe to keep up with my latest posts, use the contact form for any specific questions, donate to help me cover the costs of operating this blog, or check out some fantastic ways to make passive income. Thank you!

click on the above and sign up for BUX.to, a free program where you get paid to click on ads. More on this in a future post. But when I become a millionaire via your help, I swear I’ll buy you a drank.

The following was an email sent to me during Winter Break…I thought it was the funniest contact-form question yet, but didn’t want to embarrass the email-er. But then I thought, heck, I’ll just make this anonymous. So have a fun read and I hope you all learn a little about handling some…not so straight situations.
_______

I partied a little to hard on New Years night with a guys night out party. My best friend gave me a ride home to my house. I was in no shape to do anything and soon I passed out. When I awoke the next day and clearly recall my friend kissing me and massaging my buttocks during the night. I was so drunk, I couldn’t do anything to stop it. The next day, I acted like nothing happened. What should I do? This guy has always been my greatest bud and straight (I thought). I am now thinking he only hangs out with me because he has the hots for me

_________

Dear Anonymous Victim of being Sexually-Taken-Advantage-Of,

Thank you for the question - it’s definitely one of the most interesting ones I’ve come across. There’s no other way to settle this but in a direct manner. I suggest handling the situation in person instead of over email or telephone. I’d avoid going about it in an accusing or confrontational way - ease into the conversation. Here’s an example: “Hey (friend’s name), I was really drunk on New Year’s Night and I felt somebody touching me and stuff. Since you were the only person around when I fell asleep, do you have anything to say? If there’s something going on, you need to let me know.” Take care that you ask your questions in a light, but firm way - avoid expressing anger or fear. If you asked these questions, you’ll find the answer no matter how your guy friend responds. If he acts all nervous, looks away, and basically looks like he’s freaking out, then your friend may be gay. Keep an open mind, however - was your friend also drunk that night? If he was, then there’s a chance that your friend was a) too drunk to remember and will be pissed at your accusation or

b) what I call a “drunk gay”. I have a friend who gets REALLY touchy when he’s drunk, and he acts pretty homosexual (getting close to men and making them uncomfortable), but he hasn’t kissed any guys. Also keep in mind that when girls get drunk, they often make out, but that doesn’t mean that they’re lesbians. I’m not entirely sure if it’s the same case for drunk guys - it may be a possibility. I’ll conclude with something for you to observe - how did your friend behave other times when he was drunk? I hope you found my response useful and I’m open to any further questions. Above all, I hope that your friendship will carry on smoothly despite this slight aberration from heterosexuality.

your wingman,
gale

Please subscribe to keep up with my latest posts, use the contact form for any specific questions, donate to help me cover the costs of operating this blog, or check out some fantastic ways to make passive income. Thank you!

p.s. did you know that even if a man does gay things, he is not necessarily homosexual? In a human anthropology class I once took in college, I learned that there is a vast difference between one who would engage in “homosexual acts” and still be straight, as opposed to “real” homosexuals who not only have sex with same-sex partners, but also think romantically and have the mindset of one from the homosexual community. I’m not an authority on this, but just some food for thought.

My general advice for guys is not to use pickup lines - save for some few exceptions. You may ask, “Why not use pickup lines, handsome and supple Mr. Gale Kim?” I’ll tell you why: women are sharp and will easily catch on to what you’re trying to do, which isn’t that hard to figure out because most pickup lines center around getting into someone’s (a girl’s) pants. Holy crap that was a long sentence.

Pickup lines can work, however, if you use them in the right context. For instance, if you’re a girl. Because girls have less ulterior motives than guys, they can get away with any amount of pickup lines. If you’re a guy, I recommend using pickup lines as jokes - then many a giggle will ensue. Or use them on a potential mate that you’re really comfortable with. Practice on strangers if you want to get turned down easily and build immunity to rejection. Pickup lines have a great many uses, but not for setting a great first impression. SO I won’t beat around the bush, here are the 10 pickup lines that’ll be sure to make any girl slap you.

1. How do you like your eggs…fertilized?

2. May I read your shirt in Braille?

3. If you were my homework, I’d do you.

4. (for Math nerds) May I lie tangent to your curves?

5. (for your hot calculus teacher) Would you like to see the exponential growth of my natural log?

6. Hi, you’ll do.

7. If I said you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?

8. Your shirt looks nice. But it would look better on my floor.

9. Your name must be summer, cause you’re HOT!

10. Make your legs like a banana and split.

Hey hey hey - I didn’t say that these pickup lines were gonna be good. Hence the title “10 LAME Pick-Up Lines”. But I would love to hear your complaints via your comments. And please, if you have some great pickup lines, PLEASE share :)

your wingman,

Gale

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