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Why Multi-Tasking is the Devil (aka Satan)

Dude mang. There’s a serious problem I need to discuss with you guys. It’s called multi-tasking.

I always thought multi-tasking was cool. Actually, everyone does. The ability to do many things (well) simultaneously indeed seems very impressive. For example, chatting on AIM and talking on the phone at the same time. Pretty standard. But then you throw in breastfeeding and painting a still life of durians, and you’ve got a smelly drowning baby. That’s not good. I don’t have to exaggerate; the simplest of multitasking can be hugely detrimental to all endeavors academic and social.

Let’s return to the talking-on-phone-while-chatting-on-AIM example. It’s something I’m guilty of myself. What happens in such an instance of multitasking is diverted attention on two fronts. The friend you’re speaking to will notice your responses devolving to the standard fare of “uh-huhs”, “you don’t say!”, “shiver me timbers!” and thus you heavily risk betraying the fact that you’re not really listening. And your AIM buddies will notice either delayed responses and/or inane conversation. Either put on your away message on or tell your friend you’ll call back later. Or die. You will find this especially helpful if you’re in a serious conversation or would like to contribute more as a conversationalist (and friend).

I love tabbed browsing. This new advancement in online browsing has initially led to feel more productive, having multiple windows open at the same time. It’s also (btw I can’t say also. I say “oso”) a subtle form of multitasking that produces obvious effects. I remember working on my paper on eating culture and opened up 15+ tabs of academic research from JSTOR. What resulted was that I took a brief glance at each source and continued tabbing more sources for my paper. Then I realized, late in my research: “How can I derive great insights on food culture when I don’t take to time to fully assess each article?” This realization led to one-tab browsing and it helped me get on the right direction to procure a decent research paper. Not bad Gale, not bad. At the basis of my argument against multitasking is the argument for quality over quantity. Less tasks = better, if not more meaningful conversation. Less tabs = deeper research. The list can go on and on (and on and on ~energizer bunny~ )

Motivations for multitasking. Sometimes people don’t realize that they don’t even want to multitask. But they begin to multitask when it comes with communication with people. And why is this? it’s because we all want to convey our social value - for example you want Jenny to think you’re really important for talking to her and on AIM at the same time. In a nutshell, how eye see it is that multitasking can often be interpreted as a subconscious outlet of our own ego, if not arrogance.

inevitable feelings after multitasking - incompleteness and emptiness. And sheer frustration that reading two pages out of Homer’s Iliad took you 3 more hours than it normally would without the distractions of music, dinosaur eggs, and pictures of nude people. Moreover, multitasking will greatly exacerbate ADD if you have it already, or perhaps develop ADD if you don’t have it. Whichever way you look at it, it’s lose-lose. So don’t lose. You know, multitasking is why polygamy doesn’t work. And why it’s illegal. The federal law states that you cannot multitask by having several wives at the same time. So by extension, multitasking should be illegal too.

The grand, now-obvious solution to productivity woes is simply single tasking. It’s the new hip thing to do. Even a jack of all trades studies each trade individually, not all at once. Instead of having breadth and little depth in your tasks, aim for depth in the things you really want accomplished. after all, treasure is never found on the surface, but deep in the ocean. so I leave that crappy analogy in your hands and hope you take that to heart, instead of reading this advice as your 20th tab in firefox while clipping your cheese-beladen toenails.EGGCEPTION: The only instance of multitasking that i allow, and even find honorable, is talking to someone while you take a dump. Then it’s not multitasking, it’s sharing. The gloriousness of explaining your friend how long and excruciating your bowl system is working will not only improve bonding time, but also makes for notable topics of conversation in the future.

So it doesn’t matter if you really really vacuum-suck at multitasking. just be good at single-tasking and you’re set for life. We’ll there’s a few other things to be successful, but keeping this in mind will undoubtedly jump your productivity to great heights.

Toodle do!

Your Wingman,

Gale Kim

p.s. as for the relevance of the picture at top to the topic discussed, well. that girl multitasks.

p.p.s. multitasking is single tasking times multiple

p.p.s. this is my best work.

© 2008 the practical male advice column.